Today's Lesson

Well, I could title the lesson many things: self-sacrifice, selflessness, considering others better than yourself... However, what it really boils down to is: love. I am lacking in love most of the time that I am awake (okay, probably as I sleep too!). Today has been really "in my face" how much I am bad at loving other people. Don't get me wrong, I am good at loving and giving and serving when it is convienent for me! I can be so sweet to the children and love on them all day. But get me home to my house after a long day where my body, heart, and brain are all tired...I am not so loving. I want to make my own dinner. Check my own email. Take my own shower. Wash my own clothes how I want to do it. And oh how the list could go on. But living and working with a team doesn't function at this level, especially when three cultures are involved. Someone always needs something or wants to learn another English word or they want to watch how you brush your teeth, how you cook your food and eat it, what you're doing on the computer, etc. It has been really hard for me, who needs alone time to reboot my system, to love and give continuously. I have failed time after time; mostly on the inside where only Jesus sees and knows...where it really counts! Over and over I come back to the fact that I am wicked and depraved in need of help. Praise be to Him who has come to help and save me from myself! Without Him my current situation and state of being would be an utter mess. But because He loves me and showers me with grace: today I took a small step towards being more loving and giving. Maybe tomorrow I can relearn today's step and maybe even another one!

Mi Casa

Well, house isn't "casa" in Albanian, but I figured you would know what that meant more than: shtepia im... So, welcome- please come in! I can't promise it is clean, but I am glad you're here (I love visitors!).

Now that you've hiked the flight of stairs, you are ready to take off your shoes. It is so impolite to wear your shoes in someone's home; plus it is so dirty over here you wouldn't want to.
As you look down the main hall, my room is to the right and my Albanian teammate is on the left, along with the bathroom. The hall dumps out into the living room and kitchen. We are going to visit my room first.

Here's my lovely door. What idiot decided a bedroom door should have a window on it...I don't know. I have covered that up since taking the picture.

Welcome to my room. It is pretty much the size of a classroom- I am thinking about holding an exercise class in it! :) The sad part is that I have nothing to put in my room- just one suitcase of stuff. It feels empty; I am glad you're visiting to fill up some of the space!

Here's my bed. I am not sure what to call the thing that covers it, or for that matter what I sleep on. It isn't a blanket, duvet, or sheets. It needs some help. I will keep you posted on what I figure out to do with it!

Oh, there you are (maybe, if I had your picture). These keep me

company when I am lonely and sad that you aren't here with me.

Oh yeah, my Korean roommate's room connects to mine. Let's see if she is at home right now.

Yay- she is, and she even says that it is okay for us to take a peek into her room. (Yep- those are fish curtains separating our rooms!)

It is half the size of my room, but it is pretty cozy with the walls sponged a warm color, and she has a balcony that connects to her room!

Okay, you have to be bored with my room now- let's go explore the rest of the house. Oh, and those pillars I have in the corners are ashtray

stands that I hope to soon have plants on. :)

Well, this is the bathroom; if you can't tell. I am sure you have many questions when you walk into this room. Like: Why do you have a time machine in here? Why are there two "toilets"? Why is this room the size of a bedroom? My answer: I am not sure...it is Europe, you just learn to not ask questions!

So, my shower!!! It was installed after the war for an American UN soldier who needed the comforts of home (so I've heard). Well, my American home didn't have these comforts in it- not sure where he was from! But it has four shower settings on it. I think it once had the option of playing CDs and a bunch of other stuff. That stuff is all deactivated now, err...I mean it doesn't work. However, when you step inside the doors seal shut and you feel like you are getting

ready for take off.

My personal favorite part of the shower: the overhead nozzle! No shower will ever compare to this one...haha, and to think it is in Kosova!

The rest of the bathroom isn't too exciting.

Wait, on closer look- how in the world does this thing work? My advice: just push and twist until something happens! Just be prepared, it takes two hours to have your clothes cleaned (I don't know why or what it is doing for all that time- it refused to answer me when I demanded to know what was happening). After it finishes, you get to step out onto the balcony to hang out the wash and maybe a few days later they will finally be dry (feel grateful for your own washer and dryer now?). Whew!

On to the kitchen- yes, that small thing next to the oven is our fridge. It is like a sport to try and fit groceries from 3 girls from 3 different cultures inside. Okay, so you've noticed that we have another fridge- that thing doesn't work. I don't know why we have it; I guess it would look bad if we threw it away and just had a hole there. Who knows...

Here's the other half of the kitchen.

We just got our stove last week. I would make another fire for you, but there are some problems with that. First, the wood we bought months ago somehow just got delivered and is too fresh to burn. Second, when we light a fire smoke goes into our team leader's house upstair- this interesting problem needs to be resolved soon. We were told the workers were coming to fix it last week; this means they should be here in a few weeks.

Another benefit to having a home owned previously by a UN soldier- comfy, expensive couches! Have a seat. It isn't too freezing outside right now, so your butt might stand a chance of staying warm for a few minutes.

Oh hey, it is my Albanian roommate! If you think she looks stressed, it is because she is probably attempting to get online. We don't understand what happens most of the time- it has a mind of its own!

I am so sad to see you leave! I wish you could've stayed longer. You will have to come visit again soon. I promise this next time

I will have some tea ready and the house will be cleaner.

Oh yeah, don't forget to watch your step- the wood was dumped into the road, so we had to quickly move the pile into our courtyard. I have started to stack it, but that is a lot of wood and my hands haven't healed fully

from the last bout with the wood!

***So that is my house! Thanks for touring with me. It is very nice, and I love it so much! I've heard horrible rumors of the previous houses; not a day goes by that I don't thank God for moving my team here a few weeks before I arrived! haha. I wish you could be here with me in person, but this will have to suffice until you come visit! :) Miss y'all!

Small Picture of Life

Going to see the camp on top of the mountain

this weekend with my new friends that work here.

The fall leaves are simply amazing for this Texas girl who

has never really lived through a true fall before.

Having a good time with one of the girls that

lived in my "Kosovar home stay" house.

Albanian language study- my teacher is on the back right. We try to make it fun... that's hard sometimes!

A local mosque- most of the ones here were

recently built because all of the mosques were

brutally destroyed in the war.

The main people I wish I could talk with are the older generation. They have lived so much life: wars, communism, poverty, etc. Their eyes depict so much life lived, and for the most part, a deep sadness.

The building where I will be working. It is called: The Vision Center. In it we have all our meetings and classes.

It also holds Peja's only library. I will be

working here one day each week.

My team- I will try to get a clearer picture later on.

But this is who I work and live with!

So long for now...

*** For those of you not as familiar with the blogging world: clicking on the pictures enlarges them so you can see them better! :)

Backtracking...Holland!

One of the only windmills I saw.

An orchard with some sleeping sheep- everything was so green and lush!

The essence of Holland...just kidding, but where I was at sure had quite a few of these.

Sorry, I wasn't feeling so good while I was here, so my pictures are very few. It was a beautiful place though. I would love to go back and visit one day! Since being here in Kosova I have read quite a few books and have learned a lot. Holland has a very rich history. Brother Andrew was from Holland, as was Corrie ten Boom. It is also interesting to read about their role in the World Wars. However, it is now a very dark place in need of the Gospel. You could be in prayer for the Muslim community that is spreading rapidly throughout. I have met many amazing people from Holland and others that are working there. Pray for the ministry they have!

Oh, and to dispel a common thought: no one wears wooden shoes there! :)

Short Post

My mom is still bleeding from her incision. The doctors don't know why yet. Pray it stops, as this could be a bad sign. She also has a low grade fever. This could mean an infection if it gets worse. Pray against this as that would be utterly devastating right now!

I have two more days in my homestay family. After that I will have more time to write and update you on my life here...even post pictures!!!

Thank you for your prayers- they are all that is carrying me right now!
Love you all.

His Strength is Perfect

Well, not much has changed with my mom. She is still waiting to get out of ICU. She had some more blood infusions last night because her wounds keep draining blood. They think it is just the organs seeping blood from being bruised. Pray that is all that it is! My dad just told me that her incision is 11 ins long- that is pretty much her entire mid-section. I can't imagine the pain! Pray for her as they are making her move and use those muscles. My family has been able to get off work to stay with her; for that I am glad.

As far as life in Kosova...it is the same still. I am living with this Kosovar family until next Tuesday. It has been a good month of learning the culture and a little of the language, but I am ready to have my own house and get a little more stability and structure to my life. It has been hard to live out of a suitcase for 2 months and not be able to do my own laundry or cooking. God has taught me a lot about independence! I will blog more on the lessons He has been teaching me at a later time. Thank you again for your prayers and your emails. God has used them to encourage me so much during this time!

The Day After

This afternoon my mom is going to be moved to her own room. My sister tells me that she has had to sit up in bed and later on they will be making her walk. She is reluctant to do this because she is in so much pain. I can't imagine have my abdomen cut open and having a chest tube- both are so painful in of themselves. My brother has also reported that she was smiling today- that was absent yesterday, so that is a good sign. She has received many blood infusions, so her numbers are climbing back up. I am not sure how far she has to go, but it will be many days. Keep praying for that. Her lung has also reinflated itself, so that is good. But it is draining some blood, so pray that it would heal up all the way.

Thank you so much for all your prayers. I truly believe that God has worked a miracle through the prayers of you all. I am so blessed to have you supporting me and my family during this time. I love you all much!

Mom Update

It is 1am here in Kosova. I have finally received word that my mom is out of surgery. She is in ICU right now and my family has been able to briefly visit her. She is in a lot of pain and pretty doped up on pain meds. The doctor said that she lost a lot of blood during surgery (about 3 liters), so the biggest thing they are watching for is her blood counts to come back up. I would imagine she is pretty weak and will be for a long while, but she made it through surgery- Praise God!

It is now 3am in Kosova. My brother just informed me that my mom's right lung collapsed. They have now put in a chest tube in hopes that it will reinflate itself. They will take an x-ray in the morning to see how it is working.

It is now 9am in Kosova. My mom is still in ICU (Intensive Care Unit) and receiving blood infusions in hopes to jump her blood count back up. She is stable right now and she nodded when they asked if she could feel God's presence and love with her. Please keep praying!

It is now 12pm in Kosova. It is the middle of the night in Texas and my email is quiet. It will be many hours until I hear more updates. I am going to go take a nap... I will update you more later on today. Thank you for lifting my mom up before the Lord- she is for sure in His Hands right now!

Mother

My mom's surgery is on October 7th in the morning.

I will update you more when I find out more.