Overwhelmed

The only thing I know to do at this moment is write, so here's me pouring out my heart onto the computer screen...

This God I serve is so incredible! I wish that that could carry more weight that just being words- I wish I could capture all the emotion and passion and awe that are in my heart right now and package them up into something that helps everyone understand or at least see Him a bit clearer. But all I can think is the new David Crowder song: He loves me, Oh how He loves me!

It has been a really rough 2 years! God and I have gone through so much together. He's been my pilot, and I've just clung on tight. I can't say that right now is the hardest of all the times in the past years, but it is full of pain, trials, worries, fears, and difficulties. So much of what has been happening I don't understand and so often I see myself with my face upturned toward heaven really asking why and what is the purpose. Sometimes He gives me a nugget or a glimmer of the why or what, but mostly it is just a gentle Voice telling me to press deeper and keep on trekking.

And that's where this week has found me. I don't understand the how's and why's of my life right now. But I am clinging to the fact that He's so faithful and merciful. This refining process I am in now is for my own good and perhaps the good of those my life touches. So, I sit, I wait, I press in... But truth be told, it isn't easy and I have a hard time in doing those things.

So, yesterday and today were days like most days in my life as of late. Full of experiences that put me outside my comfort zone. Places that fears had to be met and dealt with. Brimming with pain and confusion. Wrestling and struggling through junk of my own and others. And I was left battle weary and worn out. But the God I love and have staked my life and all on hadn't left me! In fact, He did something so special and beautiful. He wrapped me in His arms and provided His Body to minister to me.

In the past 2 days God has stirred over 10 people to write me long emails containing Scripture, prayers, encouragement, affirmation, advice, etc. Everything that I needed. People from my family, from my church, from my past, from college, etc. Just knowing I needed something and to be prayed over. And I am left in tears- humbled that God would love me in one of my weakest times and provide such an amazing group of people to love on me and shower me with more of Him.

So, this is my feeble attempt to say Thank You! Your prayers are invaluable! Your emails are heartwarming. Your pointing me to Him and His Word are needed. Your love is just what this exhausted runner needed. So, thank you from the depths of my being- you have truly been a God-send! Love y'all...