Bi-Polar Day

Today I am pretty sure that I experienced every emotion there was to feel. Last night I was up until 4AM talking to my sister for the first time since coming here. That was good, but when your body automatically wakes up each morning at 7AM it is not so good. So, my day began being tired. When I finally stopped trying to convince myself I could fall back to sleep, I got up and it was a little after 8AM. The water was off. While this is a common occurrence here, it hasn’t happened in awhile and we weren’t prepared for it. I had a small amount of water to drink and almost none to brush my teeth with. I did a little complaining this morning. But I did have a sweet time of talking and listening to God for over an hour. That set my heart on fire! As I set out to meet an American friend for lunch (she lives about a thirty minute walk from my house), I was exuberant and practically glowing with joy. There was a light rain falling and God was seen in every face and thing I saw. It was beautiful and I couldn’t stop smiling. After about forty-five minutes I realized I was lost (turns out I really wasn’t, but didn’t walk far enough down the highway). I was frustrated because the rain was falling harder and my pants were getting muddy…my pants that I just washed (it takes a lot to have clean clothes cuz they take so long to dry). On top of that, over twenty men had honked, whistled, or yelled at me in English and Albanian. I had had enough of everything. So, I turned around and began the journey back home- discouraged and on the verge of tears. The same people who had just looked at me like I was crazy because I was smiling so big now looked at me with the same expression because I was almost in tears. How quickly my emotions had turned! As funny as it is, that is common for life here in a foreign country. One minute you feel strong and that you know you’re right where you’re supposed to be. The next minute you are full of doubts and discouragement. One minute you feel so privileged to be here working. The next you take that same thing and twist it into a lie; that it is a sacrifice to be here. It is such an up and down battle, and it often makes me feel bipolar. I am glad that He sustains me even in the midst of my highest highs and my lowest lows.

Oh, to finish the story: as I was walking back home my friend found me. She was so sweet to drive the entire way just to find me cuz she knew I’d gotten lost. It ended up being an encouraging and sweet time of fellowship and getting to know one another. I am glad He’s so patient with me!