My Team

My team acting how they normally do:

Now they are trying to be serious:

*click on picture to make it bigger*

*S*N*O*W*

Yesterday we experienced our first snow here in Peja. By the time I was able to take pictures the snow in the city had already melted. The snow on the mountain has stuck, and it is actually gradually building. It will only be a matter of time for it to join us here...I am pretty bittersweet about that. It is beautiful, but it colder than I've ever been in my life. I will try to keep y'all up to date on the forecast here with pictures! :-)

These were taken out of my balcony window.

Happy Birthday, Daddy!

Hope you feel loved on your special day! I miss you and I pray for you often. May God truly bless this next year of your life as He reveals Himself to you in bigger and grander ways. May your love for Him increase as you journey onward. Wish I could give you a birthday hug, so consider this as a cyber hug.

Love you so much, cj

Week to Week

Many of you have been asking me what my week looks like, so here's my typical schedule:
Sunday- local service in Albanian in the morning and international service in English in the evening.
Monday- my day off, so it normally consists of catching up on cleaning, moving wood (yuck!), or whatever needs to be done.
Tuesday- team prayer time in the morning and then five hours running the library and backyard activities during the day.
Wednesday- language school in the morning for 3 hours and then international prayer meeting in the evening.
Thursday- art class and usually working with other international people that work here.
Friday- world prayer meeting in the morning with my team, cleaning our center, language school for 3 hours in the afternoon, teaching English class, normally shopping with my team after class, and then single's meeting with other single (or mid-twenties) workers here. (This is my crazy day!)
Saturday- children's meeting in the morning and girl's meeting in the afternoon.

The gaps in between doing things are filled with:
-Trying to teach myself the language.
-Working on building a Kosova website to bring more publicity to the work here.
-Writing stories and taking pictures for the website and newsletters (I have become the communications person for Kosova for my orginization- lots of work!).
-Preparing lessons for classes and meetings.
-Racking my brain and searching the web for creative ideas for games, teaching, and crafts.
-Trying to build relationships.
-Cooking- it takes a long time since I don't have a microwave and everything is from scratch, haha.
-Praying!

I am trying to get some pictures of the classes and meetings we have here, but it will probably be a few weeks before I can compile them to post on here.

HIS Heart

I feel an overwhelming weight on my heart each day. It is a bit difficult to depict and write about, so bear with me. I am first going to start back to my life a few months ago in order to paint the full picture of what haunts me now.

I often received emails or newsletters from other countries; from friends or organizations that were working there. They were exciting and inspirational, and I would often try to remember to pray for these different things. But some of the time I got annoyed at how often I got a request for prayer or money from different people or groups. And most of the time I only remembered to pray for them for a day or two. It touched my heart, but it didn’t penetrate deeper than the surface. I knew that I was a part of something bigger than myself, but I was lacking in vision for what that was. I hadn’t seen it personally, so the effect it had on my time, money, and energy was minimal. It was easier for me to care about the “need” for a new shirt, a good dinner, a fun movie, etc. Those things were tangible and they were a very real part of my life.

So, here I sit: your friend working in a different country, being funded by many of you, and completely at a loss as what to write. I don’t know how to make the things I see and experience come to life and be real to you. I realize that only God can do that, but as I pray about that, I struggle as to what my role is in all this. All I have is simple words on a computer screen, written by a desperately flawed human whose thoughts and feelings are often vastly far from holy.

I don’t know how to paint the need; the raw desperation I now feel for this world. Reading about a child who never has been loved is immeasurably different that seeing them every day and having them watch you walk inside your front door, away from them. Hearing someone talk about the number of lost souls is a lot different that interacting with mobs of them daily. Seeing a picture of a family who is barely surviving is infinitely different than being in their house while they try to give you the best they have because you are a treasured visitor. Watching a movie on civil wars and the treachery that comes as part of that is incalculably different from being a part of the aftermath and trying to know what to say.

God has ripped open my heart and changed so much of who I am, and I feel sad because I don’t know how to talk about it in a way that is more than just words on a page. I feel so inadequate to be here and to know and see God in this way. I want so much to package you all up and bring you here with me! But God has called me to relay what I am seeing and experiencing…and I don’t know where to start. So, bear with me over these next months as I wrestle and struggle through learning to be open and sensitive to what God puts on my heart to share. Thanks!

Fav Pix

Here's a part of my team working on the

new basketball court behind our center.

It is almost finished!

I love this little bug!

How else should they be delivered?

The train that goes to Pristina.

Everyone has a gate and wall

surrounding their house and yard.

A shot of where I am working.

Reminds me of where I am.

Yes, I have taken the resemblence of a Bag Lady.

Charlie took this one.

Driving up the mountain a few weeks ago.

On the mountain.

Waterfalls and fall = good combo!

Hope you enjoyed my favorite pics- it takes a few

minutes to upload each one so I couldn't do

anymore right now (my patience wore out).

Sorry! More soon- I promise.

Bi-Polar Day

Today I am pretty sure that I experienced every emotion there was to feel. Last night I was up until 4AM talking to my sister for the first time since coming here. That was good, but when your body automatically wakes up each morning at 7AM it is not so good. So, my day began being tired. When I finally stopped trying to convince myself I could fall back to sleep, I got up and it was a little after 8AM. The water was off. While this is a common occurrence here, it hasn’t happened in awhile and we weren’t prepared for it. I had a small amount of water to drink and almost none to brush my teeth with. I did a little complaining this morning. But I did have a sweet time of talking and listening to God for over an hour. That set my heart on fire! As I set out to meet an American friend for lunch (she lives about a thirty minute walk from my house), I was exuberant and practically glowing with joy. There was a light rain falling and God was seen in every face and thing I saw. It was beautiful and I couldn’t stop smiling. After about forty-five minutes I realized I was lost (turns out I really wasn’t, but didn’t walk far enough down the highway). I was frustrated because the rain was falling harder and my pants were getting muddy…my pants that I just washed (it takes a lot to have clean clothes cuz they take so long to dry). On top of that, over twenty men had honked, whistled, or yelled at me in English and Albanian. I had had enough of everything. So, I turned around and began the journey back home- discouraged and on the verge of tears. The same people who had just looked at me like I was crazy because I was smiling so big now looked at me with the same expression because I was almost in tears. How quickly my emotions had turned! As funny as it is, that is common for life here in a foreign country. One minute you feel strong and that you know you’re right where you’re supposed to be. The next minute you are full of doubts and discouragement. One minute you feel so privileged to be here working. The next you take that same thing and twist it into a lie; that it is a sacrifice to be here. It is such an up and down battle, and it often makes me feel bipolar. I am glad that He sustains me even in the midst of my highest highs and my lowest lows.

Oh, to finish the story: as I was walking back home my friend found me. She was so sweet to drive the entire way just to find me cuz she knew I’d gotten lost. It ended up being an encouraging and sweet time of fellowship and getting to know one another. I am glad He’s so patient with me!

Grandpa Fred

My grandfather went home to be with the Lord this past Saturday night. He lived a long and full life. God has indeed blessed his life much and been more than faithful to him time and again. Please keep his six children and twenty-something grandkids in your prayers as they prepare for his funeral this weekend. Pray that they would use this time to search and know Him deeper. May God get the ultimate glory from my grandfather's life when all is said and done!

God's Busy

God has been working overtime since I've come here. The reason I know this is because He is trying to cut back on the not so important things. One of the things He does (according to the Bible) is count the hairs on our heads. My mom used to say that I made God tired because I had so much hair. Well, He has been solving that problem... my hair is falling out! Some people say that it is the bad water here. I chose to think that God is working on more important things and to me that is exciting!

For those of you who don't know me so well... this is a joke! :)