I'm Just One Person

When I think about the hundreds of stories of loss I've either heard, read, or watched during this last year, I feel small. I think about the young man whose whole family is now gone, and he's all alone in this world. Or the young woman who was raped and petrified to sleep at night for fear of another attack. Or the boats of countless people who've disappeared to the depths of the sea. Or of those who've lost loved ones in prisons or from being shot, bombed, or beaten. Or those who've died from a lack of water or food. Bombs, guns, fear, despair, pain, difficulty, hopelessness- these are the things that mark the stories and faces I hold dear in my heart now. I want to enter in, to share their pain and sorrow, to try and bear some of the burden, but the truth is that it's too much. When I stand at the entrance of just one of the thousands of refugee camps throughout this world, I feel so insufficient to even the needs there. The physical needs alone are staggering in these places of true squalor! But the spiritual and emotional needs far surpass what can be seen on the surface. One need only to look in the eyes of just one of the people trapped there to feel the staggering weight and gravity of the situation. When I think about myself, my abilities, and my weaknesses, only one word arises to my mind: helpless. I can do absolutely nothing that bears lasting impact here... I just want to sit down and weep.

But God... I praise His Name that there is a 'but God', because there most definitely didn't have to be! And truth be told, I'm surrounded by people who don't realize that there is a 'but God' to cling to. "But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which He has loved us" entered into our pain, our suffering, our weaknesses, our failures and dwelt there! (Eh 2: 4-7) When I think about the various camps that we are visiting, and the various families we are seeking to help, I'm only able to walk forward because there is a 'but God' and He already resides in these places. He's there- I see Him everywhere. I know that sounds weird: how can God be in such a forsaken, horrific place? He's there because He's the essence of all that is good, all that is beautiful, all that is life, all that is love, and all that is hope! And though evil has triumphed over much, it hasn't destroyed those things completely. It never will, because He wins! And even though I'm small and powerless in and of myself, I am a mighty warrior on the side of the King who wins this whole blasted war with ugliness, pain, disease, sorrow, and death. 

You may look at the news as you sit on your couch each evening and feel the same way: helpless. What can you do? What lasting impact does saying a prayer really have? Or tossing some funds toward the massive black hole of need? Truth be told, there's a lot of hard things happening all around right now- there's not a continent untouched (not sure about Antartica!) by immense suffering! It challenges the core of what you truly believe, if you let it. I'd like to encourage you to go to that place. Examine these hard things, wrestle with them, ask the tough questions, and stop turning a blind eye because you simply don't know what to do. Jesus calls us to follow in His footsteps, so ask Him how He wants you to enter into the fray. It could be at home, it could be on your knees, it could be in a far away land, or it could be all those things. Whatever you do, please don't sit back and think that you're just one person and incapable of doing anything. God already did it, join forces with Him!

A Poem About Freedom

This past week I encountered a bit of my youth, as I ran across my only claim to fame: a poem included in my community college's yearly publication. I was 20 years old at the time I wrote it, and while I wish I could change some of the lines to not be so extreme and judgmental, there is still much truth found in pockets of it. I leave it untouched...

Your Unknown Possession

You, the American, the fortunate one

Wake each day to priceless opportunities

Gifts from some distant forefather

One who allegedly shed blood for you

You partake in these benefits daily

Without thought or even thanks

You attire yourself in hundred dollar skin

For which you will one day pay, but

Not now, thanks to Master Card

You transverse borders with no thought

Traveling from country to communism

To civil wars and back again

Simply relying on a blue, stamped book

You view fires, hurricanes, and starving children

From a Lazy Boy with beer in hand

Flipping screens if too boring or gory

Dismissing images with learned apathy

Christmas and Easter, ritualistic visits

To shell out dues to who knows what

God, merely a name seen when

Purchasing unneeded merchandise

Or maybe pondered on September 11

But only in fear or anger

You stroll from spouse to spouse

That is, if you decide to marry

Children and pets are good when lonely

But require no effort or instruction

Then you wonder about Columbine

You pour time, effort, and money

Into legalizing marijuana

And fail to connect overflowing jails

To the growing addictions

You idealize stick skinny supermodels

But send teenage girls into suicidal depression

Yes, you would be 100% American

Fortunate? Well, you should have been

But in your freedom you lost it

Enslaved to the incessant demands of self

Ask those living in oppression about it

They know the very essence of liberty

Buy you, you only know bondage

Slavery to the freedoms you think you so deserve

Modern Day Joseph

In a perfect world no boy in his early 20's should ever be looking me in the eye saying: "I have no hope anymore" and meaning it with all his heart. Though I meant my words: "No one is ever without hope!" with all my heart as well, they still feel petty in comparison with his story...

Growing up Kurdish is difficult in and of itself, in ways I can't even begin to grasp or detail out here (I'm not trying to be political, just seeking to understand my friend). Being part of a people group with no land of their own and finding yourself surrounded by warring nations provides a glimpse into his childhood. Moving from place to place when he was young, he finally settled in Iraq to begin to work when he should've been pursuing a university education. For three years he found himself bent over nearly double carrying massive stones on his back in the blazing hot sun for 12 hours a day. The pay was minimal, but after saving every penny, he was able to help his family move onward in their journey to what he hoped was a better life. His family set out through the mountains of Iran, seeking entrance into Turkey. It was here that the police took them captive, placing them in a prison for over 2 weeks with no food. His mother has diabetes (I can't imagine how she survived this!), but it was his father that had a heart attack, received no medical help, and died there. How horrific to be treated as so worthless that their lives mattered not! Upon release, they were hit with the cost of burying him in a foreign land: 2,000 Euros! Knowing they needed to keep moving forward, they sought out help to get to Europe. The corrupt man they encountered promised them a safe passage on a boat with 40 people, maximum. He charged them 4,000 Euros for this, and then used force to place them on the boat when there were 70 people climbing aboard instead. All their money was gone, and now their very life was in danger as they set out in the pitch black darkness across unknown waters. A miracle of God protected them as nearly collided head on with a black, almost invisible, ship- they were able to spin out of the way just in time and hang on as the wake nearly toppled them over. Once reaching Greece, they spent 3 months in Idomeni, the worst refugee camp at the time. But a few weeks ago the Greek government decided they were going to remove all the existing camps (able to be seen by tourists, which would affect their money intake during the summer months) and move all the people to military camps (concealed in far off abandoned warehouses). The camp his family was moved to isn't open to most organizations entering, likely because the conditions are so bad, so we sat outside the gate and talked. For 15 days no one emptied the trash bins at the camp! The amount of trash produced by 300 people is massive. There is a family there that they've heard has tuberculosis. The others have been told that there is nothing to worry about, but as they walk through the camp coughing, fact-based fear triumphs over the empty words of the guards. One look at anyone in this camp reveals one of the most horrific issues of all: mosquitos! Some people easily are covered in over 100 bites, as there is zero protection from the nightly onslaught of bloodsuckers from the nearby lake. His mother's health has nosedived as the health care provided is severely limited. There is given no information as to what the next steps will be. There is a Kurdish camp in Athens with people who've waited 10+ years for resettlement! Will this be their story? If they do get resettled in the next year, will they get to choose where they go or be sent to a far off land to live in another camp similar to this one? Will his mom be able to hold out for this seemingly never-ending resolution? Question after question plagues his thoughts. The future is unknown and seemingly bleak.

As I laid on my bed that night, pondering his story, I couldn't help but think about the life of Joseph in the Old Testament. Sold into slavery by his own brothers, falsely accused by his owner's wife, unjustly imprisoned, forgotten by the man he'd helped, etc... A true tale of woe! But through it all, God worked! It even mentions that God's steadfast love was with him when he was in prison. In my mind, steadfast love doesn't equal imprisonment, but in God's kingdom of redeeming evil to good and ugly to beautiful, it can mean this! Maybe steadfast love means injustice, refugee status, unknowns, heartache, and trials beyond compare. God alone knows what redemption of this all will be!

"As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today."

Sharing Their Tears

After a few months of being home, I am now back in Eastern Europe helping with the refugee situation again. The circumstances are vastly different than before. When I was in Serbia, I was at a transit camp of sorts. People came and went all day and night. There was not time to really get to know someone or build a deeper relationship. Today marked my first interaction with the horrors I've been reading of these past months. Thousands of refugees packed into makeshift camps, with no idea of what the future holds. I've seen and experienced first hand some really awful things during my times overseas, but I struggle to have categories for this. I played with a little boy who'd lived his entire life in various camps. I talked with a mom who'd been forced to deliver her baby a month early, because it was starving inside her due to a lack of proper nutrition- the baby is extremely small and is now many kilometers away in the hospital (2 hours walk) for the next few months. The children have been unable to attend school for years, so an entire generation is falling through the cracks- them being the hope of maybe rebuilding their country, should the war end anytime in the near future. The list could go on and on...

Today I met a man who is an incredible artist. He not only is gifted, but he is also able to vividly capture all the heart and emotion behind something. As we were all sitting and talking, his wife pulled out about ten sketches he'd made depicting their situation: the war, the EU decision, being stuck in Greece, religion, etc. I am a very strong person, and it often takes a lot to make me cry. However, by the third picture I couldn't hold back the tears. I could barely see the sketches anymore, but I was able to make out clearly one of the last ones. There was a tight rope stretched across a canyon. On the rope were all the refugees, struggling to hang on. Behind them were their own people yelling: "Unbelievers!" and wielding guns. In front of them, with a knife posed over rope, was the EU yelling: "Terrorists!" Where can they go, who will help them, and what hope of a future do they have? I can't imagine being in their situation, but after months of simply reading about it, it was good to share in their tears today. I know there will be many more in the coming months. Please keep praying for the war to end, for them to be able to return home, and for Shalom to come to their hearts fully!