Hezekiah has always been one of my favorite kings from the Old Testament. He's not super famous like David or Solomon, but he's always stood out to me for one particular story. He got really ill, so ill that Isaiah came to him and told him to sort out all his affairs, for he wasn't going to live. Hezekiah's response has always been so powerful to me (God's reply back- even more so!): "'Remember, Lord, how I have walked before you faithfully and with wholehearted devotion and have done what is good in your eyes.' And Hezekiah wept bitterly." (2 Kings 20:2-3) Isaiah made it midway through the courtyard when God commanded him to return. “'Go back and tell Hezekiah, the ruler of my people, ‘This is what the Lord, the God of your father David, says: I have heard your prayer and seen your tears; I will heal you. On the third day from now you will go up to the temple of the Lord. I will add fifteen years to your life....’” (verse 5-6) Does God change His mind because of the fervent prayer of His king? It's mind boggling to think through, a task which I've done often throughout my lifetime.
It wasn't until recently that I really paid attention to the other version of this story that is found in 2 Chronicles 32:24-25. Here it talks about how, even though God had healed him, he didn't "make return according to the benefit done to him, for his heart was proud.." And later it says that "God left him to himself, in order to test him and to know all that was in his heart." Basically Hezekiah's life ends with God saying that there are going to be consequences for his proud choices, but because he's showed some humility they won't happen in H's lifetime. To which H replies: "'The word of the Lord you have spoken is good,' Hezekiah replied. For he thought, 'Will there not be peace and security in my lifetime?'" (2 Kings 20:19)
This man that I've come to admire and the life that I have thought so much about are both deeply flawed! In the small bits and pieces we see of his life and heart, we can notice selfishness, pride, materialism, bad parenting, etc. Not a super quality guy..! But God listened to his cry and plea for healing. It baffles me as to why He'd do that. But at the same time it offers me hope to pray in a similar vein. However, this morning as I read through all of this again, I encountered a different perspective.
As I've been struggling through various health issues, I've tackled them all numerous ways: rushing about to doctor after doctor, fasting, prayer, changing diet and lifestyle, etc. Somehow each of those has left me back at square one with no answers and frustrated. No one knows what's wrong and nothing seems to be helping. So this morning I flipped open my Bible and read this story again with tears streaming down my cheeks begging God to heal me. And then a thought hit me: I am a very proud person, and God knows my heart more than I ever will. Maybe I'm the same as Hezekiah. Maybe He knows that if He healed me, my proud heart would not make return according to the benefit done to me. Who knows, but what I do know is that God is always after something deeper than just my comfort and my convenience. He's after my heart! And by George, if I die tomorrow or 50 years from now, I want to do it with a humble heart that is daily giving my sweet Abba all the glory and praise He deserves.
